The Valentine Blues

I got a conscience wake up call today when I heard the "new terrorists of India" a newly sprouted political gang named Shiv Ram Sena who I hate to publicize but have to cite and question their point of view. They reportedly held a press conference to announce that they would be patrolling the streets, armed with "mangalsutra" (bridal necklace). They announced, “If we come across couples being together in public and expressing their love we will take them to the nearest temple and conduct their marriage."

I wonder if they have no other job. Are they all living in a stinky deep shit well to realize that not everyone gets married with a “mangalsutra?” How are they going to assume who is a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or a Jain? And since when did they assume the role of our Parents? I would like to remind them some other duties a regular parent does so that they can exorcise them…

1: Restrict easy availability of cheap pornographic material in the forms of books, porn sites in the internet and MMS's
2: Go for legal fights with media and Bollywood for stupid indicatory pelvic dances and suggestive advertisements
3: Fight the drug lobby for easily available drugs

I'm limiting this to only three so that they can easily achieve their goals before the elections and become the new guardians of India.


Have they thought deeply enough about their norms and actions being sensible? Do they know that Valentine's Day is not just celebrated between lovers? Do they know that there are at least 9-10 different flowers given off in a typical Valentine's Day? Let us educate them least they marry off even friends, brothers and relatives

Red Roses: Symbolically red roses convey romantic love and enduring passion. This is the perfect flower to say, "I Love You," (Just read: I love you and we will marry if we like each others attitudes and if our "Parents" agree).

White Roses: Symbolic of purity, truth, innocence and respect

Yellow Roses: Symbolizes friendship and celebration. Used to convey "Let's Be Friends," (Read: Let's be friends and not, "let's wait for Ram Sena to get us married")

Pink Roses: Symbolize admiration, gentleness and sweetness and are associated with friendship (Hope you are not color blind and can sense the difference between "Red" and "Pink"

(Note for the Ram Sena: Any other color, just ignore the couple, you may not understand the depth of human relations)


Let's agree with one point for them, celebrating Valentine's Day is a Western tradition, absolutely no doubt, but in this era of globalization (hope they have gone to school and have heard of it), it has come to be a celebration for men and women around the world. Do they know that the modern Indian morality is a direct result of a variety of historical events?

Let's educate them before the elections: (Source: Wikipedia)


Harappan culture: Paleolithic Age, roughly between 400,000 and 200,000 B.C

Vedic Aryans: A series of migrations by Indo-European-speaking seminomads took place during the second millennium B.C

Kingdoms and Empires: The Aryan and Greek penetration between 1500 and ca. 800 B.C. A two-way cultural fusion between Indo-Greek communities, especially in art and architecture

The Mauryan Empire: Emergence of Magadha in the eastern Indo-Gangetic Plain. In 322 B.C., Magadha, under the rule of Chandragupta Maurya. Ashoka, grandson of Chandragupta, ruled from 269 to 232 B.C. Disintegration of the Mauryan Empire India's unguarded borders again attract a series of invaders between 200 B.C. and A.D. 300. As the Aryans had done, the invaders became "Indianized" in the process of their conquest and settlement.

The Deccan and the South: Cheras, Cholas and the Pandyas frequently fought to gain regional and cultural supremacy.

Gupta and Harsha: The military exploits of the first three rulers, Chandragupta I (ca. 319-335), Samudragupta (ca. 335-376), and Chandragupta II (ca. 376-415) in North India

The Southern Rivals: Peninsular India involved in an eighth-century tripartite power struggle among the Chalukyas (556-757) of Vatapi, the Pallavas (300-888) of Kanchipuram, and the Pandyas (seventh through the tenth centuries) of Madurai. The Chalukya rulers were overthrown by their subordinates, the Rashtrakutas, who ruled from 753 to 973.

The Plunders: Mahmud of Ghazni (971-1030), who was also known as the "Sword of Islam," mounted seventeen plundering expeditions between 997 and 1027. The sultanate was in constant state of uncertainty as more than five dynasties rose and fell.

The Mughals (1398- 1707): In the early sixteenth century, descendants of the Mongol, Turkish, Iranian, and Afghan invaders of South Asia - Mughals invaded and spread their traditions

The Marathas: They were left virtually alone before the invading Afghan forces, headed by Ahmad Shah Abdali (later called Ahmad Shah Durrani), who routed them on the blood-drenched battlefield at Panipat in 1761

The Coming of the Europeans: Portuguese, Dutch, British, and French

The British Empire :( 1757-1947) - Diffused with ample ethnocentric sense of superiority, British intellectuals crashed through a movement that brought Western intellectual and technological innovations to Indians. There mission was to "civilize" India and rule it until Indians proved themselves competent for self-rule. Western-educated Hindu's assayed to rid Hinduism of its much criticized social dilemmas like idolatry, the caste systems, child marriages, and sati.


Now its question time for the Ram Sena before the bell rings and we disperse the class -

Whose tradition are you following? The Harappans, the Vedic Aryans, the Greeks, the Mauryans, the Mughals, the Invaders from the Mongol, Iran and Afghan or the Marathas?

Does not every society celebrate love and desire? What would be there without love and desire? Is the Ram Sena uncomfortable with the great Indian and Hindu poet - Kalidasa who historied about the human torso, desire, passion, sex, courtly love and companionship? Are they ashamed of Lord Krishna, who typified youthful love, desire and attraction? Do they deny that "The Kama Sutra" which is a Hindu treatise on love and sex was not, "Made in India?" Do they believe that the elaborate sexual activity portrayed in stone in Khajuraho was dropped by the UFO's? Was the Hindu festival of Holi which is also an Indian version of celebrating love introduced by the Aryans, Dravidians, Mauryans or the Marathas?

Do not India's ethnic culture, the varying linguistics, and regional complexness set it apart from other countries as an ultimate world civilization, secular and varied in all aspects?

Have not great philosophers such as Immanuel Kant pointed out that, "Love in the ordinary sense of the word cannot be commanded, because issues relating to feelings or emotions are not relevant to moral commands?" Were you not young once with feelings of love, the need to copulate and be wanted in love?

Trust me, Ram Sena, when I say that there was a golden time when one celebrated love in India openly and without inhibitions and the rulers protected it. If you don't want to support just protect it by being a silent bodyguard for the couple while they dream away with their hands enticed and remind them in the evening that it's dark, safely escort and drop them back in their homes and wish them good night and good luck. If "Goondas" like you simply don't have this helping mentality and culture then go to sleep like the Rip Van Winkle and wake up 20 years later to see the 20 year old young generation of the very couples you are very vehemently trying to pull apart in the name of God!

As for me, I'm very much energized by your attitude. I'm going to order for around 100 "red flowers," open up a small temporary shack behind St Theresa's College in Kochi, Kerala, where I'll distribute it between 10 A.M to 12:00 noon, freely to any couple who wants to propose in front of me and be reminded that I'll be there with at least 100 of my friends waiting for you to disrupt them. God created butts soft not just to be comfortable on political chairs but also to be kicked in the ass publicly by people like me. Best of luck and see you there!!