Saturday, February 7, 2009

The Valentine Blues

I got a conscience wake up call today when I heard the "new terrorists of India" a newly sprouted political gang named Shiv Ram Sena who I hate to publicize but have to cite and question their point of view. They reportedly held a press conference to announce that they would be patrolling the streets, armed with "mangalsutra" (bridal necklace). They announced, “If we come across couples being together in public and expressing their love we will take them to the nearest temple and conduct their marriage."

I wonder if they have no other job. Are they all living in a stinky deep shit well to realize that not everyone gets married with a “mangalsutra?” How are they going to assume who is a Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist or a Jain? And since when did they assume the role of our Parents? I would like to remind them some other duties a regular parent does so that they can exorcise them…

1: Restrict easy availability of cheap pornographic material in the forms of books, porn sites in the internet and MMS's
2: Go for legal fights with media and Bollywood for stupid indicatory pelvic dances and suggestive advertisements
3: Fight the drug lobby for easily available drugs

I'm limiting this to only three so that they can easily achieve their goals before the elections and become the new guardians of India.

Have they thought deeply enough about their norms and actions being sensible? Do they know that Valentine's Day is not just celebrated between lovers? Do they know that there are at least 9-10 different flowers given off in a typical Valentine's Day? Let us educate them least they marry off even friends, brothers and relatives

Red Roses: Symbolically red roses convey romantic love and enduring passion. This is the perfect flower to say, "I Love You," (Just read: I love you and we will marry if we like each others attitudes and if our "Parents" agree).

White Roses: Symbolic of purity, truth, innocence and respect

Yellow Roses: Symbolizes friendship and celebration. Used to convey "Let's Be Friends," (Read: Let's be friends and not, "let's wait for Ram Sena to get us married")

Pink Roses: Symbolize admiration, gentleness and sweetness and are associated with friendship (Hope you are not color blind and can sense the difference between "Red" and "Pink"

(Note for the Ram Sena: Any other color, just ignore the couple, you may not understand the depth of human relations)

Let's agree with one point for them, celebrating Valentine's Day is a Western tradition, absolutely no doubt, but in this era of globalization (hope they have gone to school and have heard of it), it has come to be a celebration for men and women around the world. Do they know that the modern Indian morality is a direct result of a variety of historical events?

Let's educate them before the elections: (Source: Wikipedia)

Harappan culture: Paleolithic Age, roughly between 400,000 and 200,000 B.C

Vedic Aryans: A series of migrations by Indo-European-speaking seminomads took place during the second millennium B.C

Kingdoms and Empires: The Aryan and Greek penetration between 1500 and ca. 800 B.C. A two-way cultural fusion between Indo-Greek communities, especially in art and architecture

The Mauryan Empire: Emergence of Magadha in the eastern Indo-Gangetic Plain. In 322 B.C., Magadha, under the rule of Chandragupta Maurya. Ashoka, grandson of Chandragupta, ruled from 269 to 232 B.C. Disintegration of the Mauryan Empire India's unguarded borders again attract a series of invaders between 200 B.C. and A.D. 300. As the Aryans had done, the invaders became "Indianized" in the process of their conquest and settlement.

The Deccan and the South: Cheras, Cholas and the Pandyas frequently fought to gain regional and cultural supremacy.

Gupta and Harsha: The military exploits of the first three rulers, Chandragupta I (ca. 319-335), Samudragupta (ca. 335-376), and Chandragupta II (ca. 376-415) in North India

The Southern Rivals: Peninsular India involved in an eighth-century tripartite power struggle among the Chalukyas (556-757) of Vatapi, the Pallavas (300-888) of Kanchipuram, and the Pandyas (seventh through the tenth centuries) of Madurai. The Chalukya rulers were overthrown by their subordinates, the Rashtrakutas, who ruled from 753 to 973.

The Plunders: Mahmud of Ghazni (971-1030), who was also known as the "Sword of Islam," mounted seventeen plundering expeditions between 997 and 1027. The sultanate was in constant state of uncertainty as more than five dynasties rose and fell.

The Mughals (1398- 1707): In the early sixteenth century, descendants of the Mongol, Turkish, Iranian, and Afghan invaders of South Asia - Mughals invaded and spread their traditions

The Marathas: They were left virtually alone before the invading Afghan forces, headed by Ahmad Shah Abdali (later called Ahmad Shah Durrani), who routed them on the blood-drenched battlefield at Panipat in 1761

The Coming of the Europeans: Portuguese, Dutch, British, and French

The British Empire :( 1757-1947) - Diffused with ample ethnocentric sense of superiority, British intellectuals crashed through a movement that brought Western intellectual and technological innovations to Indians. There mission was to "civilize" India and rule it until Indians proved themselves competent for self-rule. Western-educated Hindu's assayed to rid Hinduism of its much criticized social dilemmas like idolatry, the caste systems, child marriages, and sati.

Now its question time for the Ram Sena before the bell rings and we disperse the class -

Whose tradition are you following? The Harappans, the Vedic Aryans, the Greeks, the Mauryans, the Mughals, the Invaders from the Mongol, Iran and Afghan or the Marathas?

Does not every society celebrate love and desire? What would be there without love and desire? Is the Ram Sena uncomfortable with the great Indian and Hindu poet - Kalidasa who historied about the human torso, desire, passion, sex, courtly love and companionship? Are they ashamed of Lord Krishna, who typified youthful love, desire and attraction? Do they deny that "The Kama Sutra" which is a Hindu treatise on love and sex was not, "Made in India?" Do they believe that the elaborate sexual activity portrayed in stone in Khajuraho was dropped by the UFO's? Was the Hindu festival of Holi which is also an Indian version of celebrating love introduced by the Aryans, Dravidians, Mauryans or the Marathas?

Do not India's ethnic culture, the varying linguistics, and regional complexness set it apart from other countries as an ultimate world civilization, secular and varied in all aspects?

Have not great philosophers such as Immanuel Kant pointed out that, "Love in the ordinary sense of the word cannot be commanded, because issues relating to feelings or emotions are not relevant to moral commands?" Were you not young once with feelings of love, the need to copulate and be wanted in love?

Trust me, Ram Sena, when I say that there was a golden time when one celebrated love in India openly and without inhibitions and the rulers protected it. If you don't want to support just protect it by being a silent bodyguard for the couple while they dream away with their hands enticed and remind them in the evening that it's dark, safely escort and drop them back in their homes and wish them good night and good luck. If "Goondas" like you simply don't have this helping mentality and culture then go to sleep like the Rip Van Winkle and wake up 20 years later to see the 20 year old young generation of the very couples you are very vehemently trying to pull apart in the name of God!

As for me, I'm very much energized by your attitude. I'm going to order for around 100 "red flowers," open up a small temporary shack behind St Theresa's College in Kochi, Kerala, where I'll distribute it between 10 A.M to 12:00 noon, freely to any couple who wants to propose in front of me and be reminded that I'll be there with at least 100 of my friends waiting for you to disrupt them. God created butts soft not just to be comfortable on political chairs but also to be kicked in the ass publicly by people like me. Best of luck and see you there!!


shail said...

Way to go Biju!! *applause*

And your chosen venue brings back fond memories of college days!

Indyeah said...

*applause**and more applause8great post this one is..!
loved it!:)
''Whose tradition are you following? The Harappans, the Vedic Aryans, the Greeks, the Mauryans, the Mughals, the Invaders from the Mongol, Iran and Afghan or the Marathas?''
I doubt if the idiots would know...
all the best for the rose venture:)hope you find many takers for the roses...:)

we will be kicking asses in a march in delhi...
all the best!

vishesh said...

lol :P I like this post,hope those fellows read this :P

Solilo said...

Good read there Biju!

Whose tradition are we supposed to follow? We are an amalgamation.

Rinchen said...

Fantastic post, indeed! Especially the clarification of the colours of different roses :P

Its amazing what people come up with in the name of safeguarding(?) culture in our country!

Nicely written and have added you to my blogroll as well.

Nimmy said...

>>>>I wonder if they have no other job.

Exactly,they don't ahve a job and no business of theirs to ind,so they find content in minding others busines..

>>>>Do they know that there are at least 9-10 different flowers given off in a typical Valentine's Day?

Apparently,nobody gave them any flower all their life,and hence they are jealous of us exchanging flowers

>>>>Let us educate them least they marry off even friends, brothers and relatives

Dumbos don't know that its not jsut lovers who exchange flowers..I wonder if they would perceive frineds as lesbians and gays..

>>>>Any other color, just ignore the couple, you may not understand the depth of human relations


>>>Now its question time for the Ram Sena before the bell rings and we disperse the class -


>>>I'm going to order for around 100 "red flowers," open up a small temporary shack behind St Theresa's College in Kochi, Kerala,

Thatz the spirit Biju..Good luck

Kudos ...Well written..

Amal Xavier said...

In case you wanted a proof that I visited this site. And regarding me creating a blog, I don't think I will find time for that.

kanagu said...

very well written Biju :) fantastic.

Anonymous said...

bro.... this one was the d best!!!!!! well written and u spoke my mind out!!!!!!! kudos.... applause.... and what ever it needs!!!!!

brocasarea said...

what u said is so true and eye opening...

here in mang[currently am staying here] people support grps a lot[including my uncle] and argue that what they did was right!!..

india will never be a seculr country!!!

CkHa said...

truely commandable job,. i really wish that dis people mind their own business rather dan interfering into people sud go to pubs or not, or valantine's dy sud b banned.. etc,. but ya, who is gonna listen to dis sick people. I being an individual wil take ma own decisions n wil not b in a mercy of dis cheap mongrel.

Biju Mathews said...

@shail: Thank you. St Theresa's college is the same with a lot of roadside romeo's hanging out but the backside of the college is very commercialised now with a lot of shops selling fancy wear and a lot of girlie stuff :)

@Indyeah: Thank you. Thank you. Best of luck for your Delhi March. Kick them well :-)

@Vishesh: Hope they do! Thank you

@Solilo: Thank you. True!

@Rinchen: Thank you for adding me up. I'm honoured! End of the day, it's all politics and nothing else

@Nimmy: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Nimmy, I was wondering if it's a good idea if all girls march to the Ram Sena Office (if they have one..)and give them all red flowers. I wonder what they are going to do with the mangalsutra in their hand; marry every girl? :-)

@Amal: Thank you. Expressing you thoughts is never a bad idea

@Kanagu: Thank you. Welcome to my blog!

@euphonical: Thank you bro.

@brocasarea: Thank you. What I believe is that since India is such a young democracy (just 60 years compared to others) it may take time to flush out some of the old thinking and bad breath corrupting the younger generation. The new generation are globalized in all ways.

PraveenG said...

I will come and collect the flowers (in case i don't get any then) with my love on 14th just infront of St Theresa's. See ya thr :-)

Anonymous said...

lol..Good idea..But i don't wanna waste my flower of dumbos...

Wonder what they will do if you gave them one..??Beware,i heard that Muthalik is gay...loll

Anonymous said...


I meant "But i don't wanna waste my flower on dumbos..."

Biju Mathews said...

@ckha: Thank you. Welcome to my blog. That's the spririt!

@Praveen: You are welcome. The best of the "red flowers" are for you and her

@Nimmy: Muthalik Gay?? Ha ha. I tried searching up in Google something about his family and was very unlucky. I wonder what their kids and family have to say about all this :-)

Solilo said...

Muthalik is unmarried and so is Narendra Modi.

We should find somebody and get them married. May be that's their cure :))

Kris said...

Hey man...not all that you have written is correct :-) Infact english were not the people who gave us civilisation or technology. You should brush up your knowledge on history ! ! !

We can not support people going to pub completely. Yes they have the right to enjoy their lives but that too has cons attached to it. Remember the Jessica lal case or the Sanjeev Nanda incidence. That does not mean every one going to pub is a criminal :-) or it is against culture....

That does not mean that political groups or religious radicals have the right to correct them against the law. Criticism might not just work....if this is a evil of the society, then we are also a part of responsible are we ? ?is the question....

Anonymous said...

amazing... i dont have words for this fireball-of-a-post....!

Biju Mathews said...

@Solilo: No wonder he's being a hypocrite. I hope he finds his lady love this valentine :-)

@Kris: Thank you for the comment. The contributions of the British around us cannot be denied. When all the plunders did was build palatial buildings, the British contributed Railways, Post Offices and the like. I don't know why we hate the British since they are no different than all the civilizations who came to India and ruled us

@aliceinneverland: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm honoured!

Anonymous said...

What happened Biju.. you have suddenly removed the post..? waiting for it..

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!